Engagement Bling Etiquette

_DSC2343With the turn of the new year comes an influx of engagement news. So what are some of the engagement bling do’s and don’ts? Well I have done my homework; interviewed several high powered wedding planning professionals, combed the web and came up with these tips:

 1. Do I Need Have Engagement Bling To Propose?

We’ve seen it in the movies and we know how romantic it can be for your beau to get down on bended knee present an engagement bling that causes momentary blindness and pop THAT question; and although tradition calls for an engagement bling to presented at the time of the marriage proposal, engagement bling most certainly is not required. Particularly with a spontaneous marriage proposal a bling most often is not present.  Then there are those who discuss marriage, get engaged first and then shop for the bling together so that the lady gets exactly what her heart desires!

2.  Can We Share the Cost of the Bling?

Traditionally the Proposer pays for the bling.  With some modern couples however, shabling the cost of the bling is not frowned upon.  However, the Proposer will want to consider their fiancée’s personality before suggesting they go dutch on the bling. If your fiancé is a hopeless romantic she will likely expect her beau to pay for the bling.  One should also be mindful that shabling the cost of the bling can further complicate things in the event of a broken engagement.

3. On Which Hand Should the Bling Be Worn?

Proper etiquette calls for the engagement bling to be worn on the bling finger of the left hand, and this is the best way to indicate you are in fact off the market!

4. I Don’t Like My Bling. What Now?

This is such a sensitive topic  but the consensus seems to be that you should be honest, thoughtful and add a touch of diplomacy  should you decide to tell your beau that the bling does not match your style. The key here would be to be sincere in your expression of appreciation first before broaching the subject of restyling or exchanging the bling.

5. Does the Bling Have to Be a Diamond?

Traditionally diamonds are the gemstone of choice for the engagement bling, but modern etiquette engagement blings are diamond optional. All gemstones are excellent candidates.

6. Does the Engagement Bling Go On First?

The wedding band is worn closest to the heart so traditionally the wedding band is first.  

7. Must the Wedding Bands Match The Bling?

While couples often prefer to purchase matching  ring sets, it isn’t necessary for the bride’s band to match the bling.

15. How Do I Handle a Broken Engagement?

Proper etiquette dictates that the bling should be returned no matter who broke the engagement. The law however considers where you live, how the engagement bling was given/received, and who broke the engagement in determining whether or not the bling should be returned to sender.

Conditional Gift States
In some jurisdictions the bling is a conditional gift that is only valid if the condition of marriage is met.  So if there is no marriage, then the engagement bling needs to be returned.

Implied Conditional States
In other jurisdictions who broke the engagement is the deciding factor. If he breaks the engagement he is not entitled to it’s return.

Unconditional Gift States
Other jurisdictions hold the belief that an engagement bling is an unconditional gift and so it doesn’t need to be given back.

I hope this sheds light!


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